How many of us actually broke their chains and moved away from somewhere you used to, you felt comfort into something not predictable yet restless. Well, I did. Few times. Whenever you feel like ‘It’s alright, I can live like this, right here for a while’ or ‘I can’t stand being here, I want more than this.’ then you are finding yourself somewhere you have no idea which it’s making you insanely restless. All you can feel ‘Did I make a wrong decision?’ or ‘Is it going to get any better? It has to!’ I am not talking about somewhere you have been before or you know some people there that they can help you out. I am literally saying that YOU ARE NOW STARTING FROM ZERO, ALONE.
A different language or the language that you know but it’s not your mother tongue, a different lifestyle, culture, people etc.
None can understand this if you never have done anything like this before. This is constant strenuous yet fun. Having new experiences are the best. Especially if you learn from your mistakes. But are they even going to let you make some mistakes? Or are we really need them? If you are a young and open-minded person who is traveling around, trying to learn and gain skills you may already get this behavior from an employer, ‘You do not have enough experiences for this position.’ You may be even more qualified and artistic and energic for the position than ten years experienced, old-fashioned minded person. But! It’s all about numbers…
Making friendships? You have to try so hard. You have to sign up for everything then you can finally start to make some connections, and people can (maybe) trust you. You have to give to them how respectful and the open-minded person you are even though they try to judge your accent and the way you look or one question right after your pronunciation, ‘where are you from’?
Do you have any idea how much you need to prove yourself to everyone? It’s not like your family will introduce to you to new kids. You are all here, grown-up, alone, experienced, but not good enough. Your accent and your background are all matter.
“Once you know what is necessary to live the kind of life you want, bold action is required. Take your time thinking about these matters, but don’t be slow in acting on them – once you’ve thought things out.” Harry Browne – How I Found Freedom In An Unfree World
Don’t we all act narcissistic sometimes? We do feel, it’s right there, ready for me. Huge expectations, huge personalities are sometimes crashing into reality. This might ruin creativity, or make you even stronger and finally, one day get whatever you desire.
I am very afraid about my new life. I have been longing for something, somewhere since 2015. I still don’t know where I belong to, or do I even have to belong to somewhere?! But what about the people who are facing with the starting zero people? Are they open-minded? Do they let the right ones in? Or they are just going to ignore you until you give up.
How can I prove myself?
Besides numbers and words in a PDF file?
Am I going to stay zero forever? Should I give up and start zero somewhere else? Or just go back to where I came from.
Let the right ones in.
Rumi Kusdogan
rumithepurr 